Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
