SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
