fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
