ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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