Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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