Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
