Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
