Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Randomize
