used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize