wanna go halves on a baby?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
