if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
