yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
