he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize