you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
