Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
