so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
