i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Randomize
