i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
