Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
