she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Randomize
