Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize