Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
