I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
