Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Randomize
