Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
