Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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