My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Sext me about skeletons
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
