Soap is not a condiment
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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