I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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