worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Randomize
