Duck Duck Cougar?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
