So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
