Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
