I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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