Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
one might say we're banned from that church
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
