Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
