I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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