why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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