Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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