i need an iv and a liver transplant
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
