Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
