hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
where are my eyebrows?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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