How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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