he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
