Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
