I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize