My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
