Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
