Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
