I feel like abortions should bother me more
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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