Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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