How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
