I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
