this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
