idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
