I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
