I got chris browned last night
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
