Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
