i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
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