I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
