hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I need moral support for this bender
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
