He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
