; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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