That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
This show inspires me to have sex in space
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
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