Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I enjoy the company of your penis
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
