I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
