that's an acceptable place to lick
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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